cinnamon and cigarettes.

A few weeks ago I was waiting for a friend to go to some wine bar - that never happened. After sitting outside for a couple of hours for him to come, I decided to go see a movie instead. Because I was early, I sauntered towards the theatre at an uncomfortably slow pace, satiating the inner fear and social stigma associated with being early to a film. As I turned the corner of Walnut and El Molino, there was a man in his car, idling at the green light, windows down, watching me. Initially, I assumed that he was lost; so much for assumptions. As I continued down the street towards the theatre, he drove past and continued staring. I suppose I was pretending not to notice his gaze, but when he stopped a few hundred yards away from me, I hoped he was going to ask for directions. 

As I passed him I asked if he was in fact lost.

     no. he politely responded. what are you looking for?

I didn't know what to say, so i responded as best I knew how:

     nothing.

he proceeded to ask again what i was looking for. 

again, nothing.

     where are you going? do you want me to come with you?

     no. but thank you?

     do you want to come with me?

     no. 

     do you want a ride?

     no. i'm really close and i like walking. have a good night okay.

     what's your name?

     misty. goodnight. 

and i waved as i walked away. 

I got to the show twenty minutes early. Bored, I smoked outside with the other folks who were early and ashamed to sit in the empty theatre alone. As we stood in our silent worlds, thinking to ourselves, likely wondering if smoking would actually kill us, or if it would be something else, something more dramatic - like a car crash or a broken heart, a shaky woman walked towards us all, screaming obscenities. Two of the men nearby were watching her snickering slightly. As she drew nearer, she looked at them and yelled,

     do me! just do it already. to prove that you're a human!

she spat on them, and walked away, yelling. 

as she crossed the street. With the red hand quietly telling her that crossing was not allowed, she was almost hit by a car. 

instead, she banged on the hood screaming at the driver. laughing. 

at 10pm gonzo started. i ate an entire box of hot tamales and only finished half of my pomegranate odowalla juice. 

it was tangy.