missing peter pan

i feel like there's something between us, and i don't mean the buildings.

it feels like i have hit a wall, and there's no getting past it. 

when did it happen? was it you? is it something i did? is it simply nature taking her course?

i felt so good about letting go, and still do, to be honest. but i sometimes wonder what you think when we're together... 

does she still like me? should i distance myself so that she doesn't? 

it's really none of my business what you think. we're friends though, right?... or were anyway. what happened?

did your wondering carry you too far into the realm of make-believe? 

i know mine did. i allowed myself to think that maybe someday, if you were willing, something could be good. 

something could even be safe. 

but did i hurt you there? in the wondering? i'm sorry if i did. and i am sorry if it's that which keeps us from the friendship we once had. i miss it. 

i miss you.

after the wondering, i find life outside of the daydream i enjoyed for so long to be mundane. simple. 

i can like it, if i choose.

i feel like i am growing up. leaving all those un-reciprocated feelings in the past. 

i guess we all have to leave neverland sometime. 

maybe you are peter pan, and i am wendy. 

you, the boy who in his curiosity and playfulness, forgot his friend, who had to return home. 

away from the fairy tale, and from love. 

or maybe it's the other way around, and this fairy tale is carrying me away.

i have a thimble if ever you decide to come and get it. you left your shadow here too, but that too will soon pass.

the sun will shine anew on the things that once held the memory of you.